From Leslie Rhodes
Author of The Stop Shopping! Program
In the Next Five Minutes, You're Going to Learn...
- Why you have a problem with excessive spending and how to get it under control - the cause isn't what you think.
- Why what you're probably doing now to stop shopping is almost guaranteed to fail because you're trying to treat a SYMPTOM and not the CAUSE of the problem.
- How to heal the relationship damage that your overspending may have caused.
- How being a shopaholic actually fills a very real NEED you have and has a very good purpose - you're just going about it the wrong way!
- Why shopping and spending money doesn't really make you happy long-term...what you really need to target is being fulfilled.
- The most common reason I've found that causes people to spend even what they know they shouldn't - it's the same thing that contributed to MY shopping addiction - and once you recognize it, you can do something about it.
- The role anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem and depression can play in your compulsive spending - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
- How to take fast control of your finances, even if they're spiraling out of control, and start rebuilding your financial future - for good.
The obvious question to start with is, “Do you have a problem with overspending or excessive shopping?”
That's a tough questions isn't it?
I mean, everyone has to shop, right? You need to get food for the family, things for the house, and you certainly can't walk around naked, so shopping is just a part of life.
But when does normal shopping cross over into "problem" territory?
Let’s look at what Donald Black, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine has to say:
"Compulsive shopping and spending are defined as inappropriate, excessive, and out of control.”
I suppose that’s as good a definition as any, but I think my criteria may be even better....
I think that if you went through the trouble to look for information on shopping addiction, found my website, and are reading this sentence right now, chances are EXCEEDINGLY high that you DO have a problem.
If you have to ask if you have a problem, you probably do. But here's some good questions to ask yourself...
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If you answered "Yes" to any of those questions, you need to keep reading...
Now let’s talk quickly about the word “addiction”. Do you have an “addiction”, a “problem”, a “habit”, or what? I mean, when does a bad habit cross over into addiction?
I’m going to be honest. Some people care about that, but I don’t see why it makes a difference at all. Regardless of what label you put on it, you have some behavior you want to change, and the solution is the same no matter what you call it. So if you want to call it an addiction and that makes you take your recovery more seriously, by all means, call it an addiction. If you prefer to call it a “problem” or "habit" instead, fine by me. I mean really, the label you put on the behavior doesn't change a thing.
I'm going to let you in on a secret. Your problem - what you're truly struggling with - ISN'T Shopping...
Start paying close attention because you're about to learn the KEY to conquering your problem with shopping.
Your shopping and spending AREN'T the problem.
Really, they're not.
They're SYMPTOMS of your problem, but not the problem itself. Ok, hear me out...
Did you ever have a toothache that was so bad it gave you a headache?
You could take aspirin until you were blue in the face and try every headache treatment under the sun, but the headache will still be there. Even if you took enough aspirin to dull the pain for a moment, it would always come back, because the headache wasn't the REAL problem. It was a symptom of the real problem - the toothache. Fix the toothache, and the headache goes away.
Your compulsive shopping isn't much different.
There's a REAL reason you shop like you do, an emotional need you're trying to fulfill with spending money and accumulating things. Your shopping is the headache and we need to work together to reveal what the REAL problem is so that symptom goes away - we need to pull the tooth that's causing the trouble!
But until you do that, you can try anything else you want, and you're probably not going to be successful. Even if something works temporarily, like the aspirin, eventually the problem will return, because the real problem persists. You never pulled the right tooth.
The good news is that once you identify the TRUE problem, you can address it rather quickly and put the symptom of compulsive shopping behind you.
Maybe you shop to feel better or escape from life for awhile. Maybe you spend to distract yourself from anxiety, or loneliness, or depression, or something else in your life. Maybe your self-esteem needs improving and you're trying to turn into someone else by changing what you wear, or how you look, or what you have...but I can tell you this…you’re not alone and unfortunately this is a very common and increasingly more frequently seen condition. Luckily, you’re one of the few brave and self-aware people to actually seek out help, so congratulations, you've already shown you have the determination to make real change a reality.
Before we move on, let me share my story...
Call it what you want…shopping addiction, shopaholism, oniomania, compulsive spending – it can destroy your financial future, relationships, and life.
I know, because I suffered with it, and I suffered BAD.
At first it just started out as something I would do to get out of the house and have some “me” time. I’d go to the mall for a few hours, sometimes with my girlfriends, and just hang out, talk, and pick up a few items or an outfit, "retail therapy" we would call it. I’m not exactly sure when things started to get out of control, but before I knew it, I HAD to go shopping – ALL THE TIME.
Before long, just shopping to relax or get away turned into BUYING as a compulsive need, which is a big difference and a scary realization, isn’t it? I’d get what I can only describe as a “rush” when I’d made purchases; it was almost like a drug. I felt a NEED to buy things, whether I could afford it or not. Looking back, it was also a way for me to escape my life, even if just for a little while.
For a time I was able to hide my excessive shopping, which in hindsight was a pretty big red flag that I had a problem. After some time though, it becomes increasingly more difficult to hide hundreds of pairs of shoes, dozens of purses, and a constant stream of packages arriving at the door, not to mention the growing credit card balances.
Ugghh. The credit cards…
Most everyone I knew had some credit card debt, but I was like the Queen of Debt. It’s one thing to have a few hundred dollars on your Visa card, but I was dealing with THOUSANDS and it was growing all the time. It caused countless fights between my husband and I, and pretty soon I was sending away for new credit cards and hiding them from him –but nothing stays hidden forever.
Even if I avoided the mall, which was like an alcoholic skipping the liquor aisle, I had 24 hour access to the Internet and shopping on TV. I’d buy the most ridiculous things on TV and from eBay, and I knew I didn’t need or even particularly want it, but it didn’t matter. I just HAD to get it. I have more designer jeans that I know what to do with and most of them are hanging on all the exercise equipment I bought at midnight from an infomercial.
Then the house of cards I had built started falling down around me...
I had so much debt that I couldn’t even make the minimum payments on my credit cards.
My closets were so stuffed with things I had bought, many of which still had the tags on, that it was embarrassing and an obvious indicator of a growing problem.
My husband worked hard and made a good income, but we still never had any money and things were getting worse all the time, I didn’t know if my marriage could survive my addiction.
I was spending what I should have been saving for my children's college. Shopping wasn't even fun anymore...now I felt guilty and sick and weak for not being able to do the right thing.
I eventually got my spending under control, but it didn't have to take so long, be so hard, or get as bad as it did...I just wish I could have discovered the truth behind my need to spend sooner.
I conquered my shopping addiction, and completely changed the course of my life for the better...
It took me a long time, much longer than it should have, but I eventually overcame my shopping addiction, and believe me, life is a LOT different now...a lot better.I paid off the credit cards, renewed my relationships, and found better ways to deal with my life, anxieties, depression, loneliness, and boredom.
Now that I know more about myself and have greater control over my behavior and my mind, my marriage is actually BETTER than before all this started. My children's college fund is growing again, I don't get late notices anymore, and I can go shopping for what I need and want without it becoming a problem or feeling guilty.
It was so hard to recover from my addiction because I didn’t know where to turn for help, there just didn’t seem to be anything available for me.
I figured the way out of my addiction on my own through countless hours of research and experimentation with insights from other addiction recovery programs. After I successfully conquered my own compulsion I made it a goal of mine to put together a program to help others who were still struggling with their shopping addiction get control back over their life faster and easier than I did. You’re now reading the result of that promise I made to myself, and I’m proud to say that my “Stop Shopping!” Program has grown into one of the most respected programs available for recovery from this life shattering problem.
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The program has three parts.
First, we’re going to go through some exercises to understand WHY you’re struggling with your spending compulsion. The reasons are slightly different for everyone, but getting to the root of what benefit you’re deriving from your behavior is key to your recovery as the knowledge allows you to address whatever is lacking in your life in a more healthy and productive manner. Like we talked about earlier, we're going to find out which "tooth" we need to pull and once we do, your need to spend can fade away almost without effort.
Second, you’re going to learn some overall strategies to help you cope with life better so you’re not drawn back to shopping or another addiction down the road because of an underlying problem or lack of coping skills. This piece is critical to long term success.
You'll also learn how to repair the damage your spending may have done to your relationships, and build them not only back to where they were before - but I'll show you how to make them BETTER than they ever have been.
Lastly, in the included “Financial Recovery” resource, we’re going to develop a system for you to use to get the effects of your addiction under control and get your finances back to where they should be - quickly and without collecting coupons or living like a miser or hermit.
When we’re all done, you’re likely going to feel more empowered, strong, and in control of your life and the direction it’s going than you ever have before. It won’t always be easy and you may have to face some hard truths about yourself, but if you’re still reading this, you know it’s necessary.
Leslie..my shopping isn't THAT bad...Do I really need a program? Can't I just slow down my spending on my own?
Hey, believe me, I understand not wanting to admit that your problem has gotten so out of control that you need a program like this. Taking that step is probably the hardest part of the entire recovery process.
Do you NEED it? I can't answer that, only you can, but let me ask you something that will make the answer pretty obvious...
Has what you've been doing so far worked for you?
If what you've been doing to control your spending hasn't worked up until this point, why will it work tomorrow, or next week, or five years from now? What will it cost you in the meantime?
Keep on doing what you've always done and you'll keep on getting what you've always gotten.
Maybe it's time to try a different approach.
The Stop Shopping! Program is for anyone that feels their shopping or spending has gotten out of hand, or that answered "Yes" to any of the questions I asked you earlier.
In a word, specialization.
Excessive shopping and spending recovery methods are different than those used for treatment of alcoholism or drug abuse. Shopping has much different consequences, causes, and impacts, and treating them the same way you would another addiction just doesn't make sense to me
The Stop Shopping! Program is tailored precisely for YOUR challenge, and I think if changing your behavior is important enough for you to be reading this right now, it's important enough to take seriously and treat using a method that specializes in changing the behavior YOU want to change, and not a "catch all" treatment plan or program. If I ever need heart surgery, I'm calling a cardiologist - a specialist - and overcoming this problem should be no different.
Much more than just a “stop shopping book”, it’s a complete SYSTEM for making over your entire life.Here's exactly what you'll be getting...
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All program material is in either PDF or mp3 format that can be used on either PC or MAC. After payment you will be given instant access to download the material to any computer you wish, and you always have the option of printing the material out if you like.
I'm so sure you'll love the program, I GUARANTEE results...
I want to make it as easy as possible for you to begin creating the life you crave, so I’m going to remove any risk you have whatsoever from starting right now.
If you get the Program, and don’t agree that it’s far more than you ever expected…that the results aren’t phenomenal…that it isn’t something you wish you would have found sooner…then I don’t want your money. Just let me know within eight weeks of ordering and I’ll give you a prompt, courteous, no questions asked refund of what you paid - and you can keep the program! No fine print, no funny business or hassles, that’s just how much I believe in the program. That’s not just my guarantee, that’s a personal promise.
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Wishing You Happiness in Your New Life,
P.S. If you’re not sure if this is right for you, despite my full guarantee, or if you're thinking this may not be the right time to change...just answer me this:
How much is staying the same costing you and if not now...when?
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Mailing Address: Stop Shopping! / 608, Inc., PO Box 111 Waunakee, WI 53597 All program material is in either PDF or mp3 format that can be used on either PC or MAC. After payment you will be given instant access to download the material to any computer you wish, and you always have the option of printing the material out if you like. All material provided on this website is provided for informational or education purposes only. No content is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Consult your physician regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your symptoms or medical condition. |
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