Welcome to Transform Your Marriage: Online Marriage Workshop

Welcome to Transform Your Marriage: Online Marriage Workshop

Two Couples Struggle In Marriage;
One Marriage Ends,
The Other Marriage Thrives.
The Difference Is In The Action They Take!

Which Couple Will You Be?

Saturday 03/27/2010  

Dear Friend;

Almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. But 100% of marriages have difficulties. Many people think it is simply a coin-toss on whether a marriage succeeds or fails. They are wrong. You CAN make the difference! Success or failure is in your hands.

In October and November, we hosted the Online Marriage Workshop. There are no plans to repeat the event. But I had many requests to attend, but we couldn’t handle any more participants. And I have had many, many requests for the transforming information from the workshop.

We have decided to offer all the information included in the workshop for those who were unable to attend, and at a fraction of the cost for those who could not afford to attend.

Now I know that some of you have already decided this is for you (some of you have already told me so). If that is the case for you, just skip to the bottom and register. All others, keep reading!

I just received this letter and wanted to share it with you (with the permission of the writer): "Dr. Baucom, I just want to thank you for your book, "Save The Marriage". While it did not save my marriage (we should have everything signed off in a couple of days), it still helped me find wisdom and comfort. I never plan to re-marry but I hope to have some meaningful relationships in the future. What I discovered in your book will stay with me and will hopefully lead to a better understanding of relationships. The fact that my marriage didn't last is not a failure on your part but rather on mine for waiting so long until I asked for help. Perhaps it is similar to someone who has chest pains and fails to activate the EMS in time. Sometimes a sense of urgency is the missing facet in success. Again, I appreciate your effort and sound advice, which I have shared with others who are striving to keep their marriage together. Respectfully, Raymond E. Wakefield" The reason I share it is because of Raymond’s powerful analogy -- he waited too long to take action! Every day, I have people in my office, and I think to myself “why didn’t they do something earlier, when it would have been easier to change, fix, heal, and transform?”

 

Marriage can be tough! Two people, joined together, but sometimes feeling like enemies. Sometimes, couples find themselves continually hurting each other, miss each other’s needs, and leave each other angry, resentful, tired, empty, exhausted, and unfulfilled. 

Study after study is showing the damaging effects of stress. And nowhere is there more stress than in an unhappy marriage! We stand in front of family and friends and make a promise to stay together. Some people decide to break that promise. Others struggle through.

In the end, there are really three options: 1.) Leaving things as they are, suffering through (continued unhappiness). 2.) Give up and move on (separation and divorce). Or 3.) Discover the secret of transforming your relationship! Neither 1.) nor 2.) are good options. 

Instead, the only real option is 3.), transforming your marriage! But without the proper tools and understandings, transforming your marriage is difficult. How many times have you tried to make things different? How many books have you read, discussions have you had, thoughts and prayers you’ve entertained, all aimed at changing the relationship?

“So, What Can I Do?”

A marriage can be restored, developed, nurtured, and transformed! I tell you that as someone who sees the “miracles” on a daily basis. Note that I put miracles in quotations. Miracles are thought to come out of the blue. But in the cases I see, it is because one, the other, or both decide to do something about it. In other words, the miracle happens because action is taken.

There is a myth that it takes hard work to transform a marriage. I don’t believe that. It takes effort. It takes a change in thinking and perspective. It takes a willingness to try something new. Mostly, it takes a belief that things can change. It doesn’t take an overwhelming belief. Just some small part that says “Things have to change. Things can change. I will participate in it.”

That is the opportunity you have, right now. It is an opportunity you have to be transformational in your life, in your marriage.

Here’s a little story about me: I have always, for as long as I remember, wanted to Scuba dive. For a long time, it was not practical. In college, I couldn’t afford it. Then came graduate school (still couldn’t afford it, and didn’t have any time if I could have). Then I was a father, and no time.

Years passed, and I still wanted to do it, but never took the time or chance. Then, several years back, I had a potentially life-threatening illness. Let me tell you. . . that will change your perspective! I started doing things I had long wanted to do, but hadn’t.

Then, my wife encouraged me to get certified for diving. I came up with every excuse: “not enough time,” “not enough money,” “too many other things to do.” But, I also realized it was something I wanted to do. It took 5 Sunday afternoons, and a trip to Florida, but I got certified! And I found it met all of my expectations (exceeded them, in fact). Now, I am working toward being an instructor! All because I took a chance.

Is that you? Have you always wanted to do something (or maybe even tried some things) to improve your marriage, but to no avail? Do you find yourself with plenty of excuses, but still dreaming of something different? 

You could take the risk, and discover that the marriage you want is available to you, right now and with your current spouse. It will take some effort, and it will mean taking a risk. But, as someone who has had his life threatened, take it from me, the risk is much smaller than you imagine!

The next month is going to pass, one way or another. At the end of it, will you be able to say “I made a difference in my life, the life of my spouse, and the life of my family”? Or will the month simply pass with the same dreams and regrets?

Even if you are at the end of your rope, ready to give up, isn’t it worth one more shot? One more guided effort, one with direction and assistance?

People often find themselves in situations where they have learned to survive, to get by. Not happy, but getting by. That is not enough. You can learn to thrive.

How This Workshop Came To Be

I have to tell you a story. You see, I've been working to save marriages for over 18 years. A few years back, I began to put together my ideas, which led to an ebook, Save The Marriage. I kept thinking, "there has to be more that I can do." So, I added a Quick-Start Guide To Saving Your Marriage. Now, some 49,155 ebooks later, I still felt like there had to be a way to be more helpful. I offered coaching, but I only have so many hours in a day.

Then, just a couple of months ago, it hit me: “why not do a marriage workshop? Or a marriage retreat?” But I kept coming up with the major problems people give for not going to such things: too far away, too much time involved, too much money involved. I kept thinking. . . .  Now, here I was at the beach, looking out at the Intracoastal Waterway (actually showering off after a beach run), and it hit me! Why not host an Online Marriage Retreat/Workshop?

I came back home from vacation, and started putting some wheels on the idea. I realized that I had the perfect solution for helping your marriage! It was a "no-brainer" for me. You can be anywhere in the world and take part. You don't have to disrupt your life, find babysitters, someone to feed the dog, etc.

And it wouldn't even take some special technology. You are using the only technology you need right now: a computer with an internet connection (and the free program, Adobe Acrobat, which is likely already on your computer).

In fact, I was amazed on how that workshop came together. It was a great experience where participants were on the phone or through the internet for workshops, then worked on homework provided to all participants. We covered material that was not covered anywhere else. 

And participants ended up being from a multitude of backgrounds (some even spoke English as a second language). Relationships ranged from “doing OK” to “just short of divorce” (and even a couple whe were divorced, but wanted to reconcile).

One month later, all had completed the workshop, and I was hearing about the transformations. I knew I had to find a way of providing the information to others. But my time commitments prevent me from repeating the workshop. 

So, my next process was thinking about how to provide the information. Then it struck me. The way we had set up the workshop meant I could do it with NO PROBLEM for you, and with less involvement on my behalf. It was truly a WIN-WIN arrangement. You receive the information you desperately need, and I can manage my resources better.

Then I realized, by doing this, you have full control over the workshop, how you use it, and when it takes place. You are in the “driver’s seat” of how you use this workshop! Keep reading to find out how.

A Personal Greeting From Lee Baucom

 

I have been using the information, techniques, and ideas for years. Here is what others have said about my work and ebook: (Click Here To Skip Comments)

Just A Handful Of Recent Comments: I love it so far, I am still reading it do to work, but it is something I cannot put down.PattyAnne work in progress, 10 months and counting...knowlage is a wonderful tool. Rick Bartlett The book is great, practical, easy to read. I found that it gives good insight into dynamics of a relationship when it is functional. Irene Ramos Save The Marriage was very helpful. The essence of it is: you make active loving choices and you get rewarded by the same from your partner. It worked very well for me! E.S. I found the ebook very rewarding and helpful, its pretty much stuff we all know but tend to forget alot.. a very precise accurate read! L. G. After 34 years of, what I thought, a happy marriage I found out that my husband was having an affair and had been for three years, I was devastated, I thought I could never get over this, never mind come to terms with it, but with the help of your e.book I have turned my life around, my husband is no longer having an affair and he is now so loving toward me, even more so than before, I have learned to take responsibility for my own happiness and not to depend on others for it. I am at peace with myself, thank you and God bless you. Norah I found the e-book was exactly what I needed. Unfortunatly I found the site too late for it to save my last relationship (ended over 18 months ago). When I advised Lee it was too late, he promptly gave me a refund.  I applied the information and ideas I learned toward my 3 months new relationship and so far it is going very well. Christopher By reading the ebook 'Save the Marriage' first my marriage has been saved. Second, We have learned to not get angry every time someone has a bad day. Laurie Barthel It was a wonderful ebook, I really felt like I had spoken to the author as he really made me feel like it was just aimed at me. I know that many people experience difficulties from time to time but this just made me realise how many and how lucky I am to have my husband and family. They deserve looking after and the book helped me to put life and family into perspective and just relax. Nicola Clark The techniques were eye opening view on the dynamics of spousal interaction that can't be seen from the inside of a problem marriage. Mike M When I ordered the Save the Marriage ebook, my husband and I each knew we were facing some problems, but neither of us had brought it up to the other. When I told him that I had ordered it, I was afraid he'd be upset, but he actually was relieved! I printed it out, one chapter at a time, and each night after we put the kids to bed, we read that chapter together and discussed it. I'm happy to report that we are doing very well now and I look forward to going over the 5 Myths of Marriage with him! Courtney Fairchild Your book made me open my eyes to how I have been feeling these past 20 yrs of my marriage and realize how I have been harboring resentments. How these resentments have affected my relationship, but more importantly HOW to let go of them. Ann Lord Helped me realize we are two separate people with different feelings and wants but with the same goals of a loving marriage and home and it is those goals that make us one. Christine Deters I read the e-book Save the Marriage and it helped me with some of the power struggle issues that we had. We are getting along now much better, although we are still separated. I don't know if I should hang in there or if it's time to move on. I know she's been dating, but my daughter cries sometimes and says that she wishes that we all lived together again. The e-book was definitely helpful though. It made me a better person. I've given up on the struggle for power and left my old jealous self by the wayside. Thanks, I still have hope!  Don in Toronto Thank you Sir. I found you book extremely useful in evaluating and analyzing my own performance and behaviour in my marriage. Reading it together with my wife provided many a talking point and funnily enough she and I picked very different issues as the 'most interesting' or 'most important' which only goes to show how differently we looked at our relationship. We are still struggling like hell but I keep going back to your book for inspiration and to keep myself in check (and to kick myself in the butt). I can definitely recommend this book to anyone in our situation.  Christian, Copenhagen Although I did not read the book form 'cover to cover', The visual image of the sailboat where each adjustment on one side required an adjustment on the other helped me realize that if I did not address the things I did not like by changing MY behavior, nothing would change. Then I acted on that, and things are changing! Claudia The biggest lesson I learned is to just be myself and step back. I don't need all the answers right now and discovering areas about myself that need work has been very insightful. I am eager to move on to being the best person I can be. If this new confidence is attractive to my spouse, great. If not, so be it. I will still be able to go on in my life with renewed confidence and self esteem. Barbara Durfee Matter of fact advice, focus on the facts and the reality, not the hopes and dreams that surface during this type of difficulty. darcy golubovic The day my husband said he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay married, was by far one of the worst days I had experienced. I turned to an old friend who had always been a mentor/counselor of sorts for marriage advice who recommended a website that lead me to Save the Marriage. I purchased the book that day and from the first page began to discover how my actions (including lack of action) had contributed to the current state of my marriage. I know that marrige is 50-50 so please don't think I took all the responsibility. Its just that you think you're in the clear until a new perspective comes along to open your eyes. Save the Marriage not only offered excellent techniques for communicating with my husband, but taught me things about myself that have helped me improve who I am and what I bring to the relationship. I know with 100% certainty that without Save the Marriage, I would have made the classic mistakes listed in the book and more that likely not be married to the wonderful man that I love so dearly. There is risk in everything, and purchasing this book was well worth it. Jessica I find the advice extremely readable and even somewhat entertaining even though dealing with delicate issues. I highly recommend it. Andre Setton I have learned some very valuable lessons. It might be too late for my current marriage (I hope not), but I know that if I get married a second time I'll be better equiped to make it my last. Kyle Most Important Part: Talking about 'WE' insted of 'I' Olga Tinschert I like you can down load info right away. Katy The Save the Marriage online program was great in that it was a wonderful resource to use without the stigma attached to traditional 'therapy'. Also, in going through the steps you could move as slowly or quickly as your personal problems required. It is a 'safe' way to explore the dynamics of your marriage. Kay I purchased Save The Marriage e-book a few months ago when my marriage had hit rock bottom. I was hesitant to share the book with my husband but he was very open and we've been reading it together and talking about how it is relavent to our marriage. It really has been bringing insights that we never saw before and I look forward to us continuing it together! julie When you need help; you need help and this site gives you that from enough angles to really grab your attention. Graham Hk There is no question the book saved us.  I had to look when I purchased your book. It was about 11/26/2003. That, in itself adds a little to my thank you!  I am married, with two just teenagers. I thought I was happily married until my wife said she was unhappy and in a few instances said she wanted a divorce. I realized there were problems but didn't know what they were or how to fix them. I searched and at that time found your book. Your book attracted me because rather than try to figure out how to fix the many individual little items I (we) were doing wrong, I knew the way we act always influences others and has a tendency to correct things you may not be aware that we are doing.  The significance of the date I bought the book is simple. In that December I felt very uncomfortable with my wife's need to have me get out of the house on certain days. It didn't click in until one day she was very anxious. I felt something was extremely wrong. I had never been jealous, never thought my wife thought of other men until that day. I planted a video recorder and discovered she was in the initial stages of venturing outside of our relationship. Her planned events never happened as I confronted her and the other person.   I had fallen in love with my wife again in October of this same year. A great job change in late May had made me happier than I had been in a long time. So I was well on my way to changing myself and how I act, using your book, when my discovery came to light. That experience was nothing less than earth shattering to me. The confrontations and the five near divorces consumed a little over a year of our lives. Trust was destroyed and we did not know what the future brought. 'Only time will tell.' I, however, made the conscious decision, at that time, that I would / will change (and continue to do so) regardless of what happened. Your book was a life-changing experience for me. I look back today at different intervals of that year + and think to myself that I cannot believe how it was possible to weather that storm. Then, today, while searching on line for some romantic things to do, I again came upon your book. I asked myself if, today, I feel comfortable enough to write this note that, in my heart, I would be able to do someday.   There has been a tremendous change in both of us as a result of your book. Friends and relatives notice how we act toward each other and we even witnessed a couple, who normally would argue in front of us, change how they interacted. I can, today, truly say that you changed our lives and saved our marriage, when to anyone who knew the facts, would have said it was impossible. I am simply taking a moment 'to smell the roses' and thank you for your ability to take a complicated, almost impossible situations and with simple application (and time) change almost anything.  I do also want to share with you what we discovered in this process and what was a major source of all our problems. Somewhere after having our first or second child my wife lost her total desire to have sex. I did not know this. 'She put up with it.' She thought it had to do with me and I thought she didn't care, etc., and the pulling apart process started some time ago. My wife was always my best friend but she was never (confirmed by her mom) very good at verbalizing what bothered her, even when being asked point blank 'what's bothering you?' She felt I was not listening and started confiding in others. The rest is history. The point here is that her loss of libido, in combination with other things, almost destroyed our marriage, and neither of us knew it was happening or why. We are finding our way through this but this, like many other things, is a work in progress. She has to take a lot of medicines for Arthritis, etc. and very unwilling to add to the daily intake. So resolving this and improving the libido issue is delicate at best. I have gotten some books but this is something that is impossible to change all by myself. The kids are at camp now and we are having a great time. I don't want to muddy that experience but will sometime have to chat more with her about it. I don't know how to approach this except gingerly and approach is from the 'we' side.  I am sorry it took so long to write but it this is a very important day because I feel that I am able to write this note! Thank you so much for helping us and keeping our family together as well.   Best regards, John Save the Marriage has offered a new perspective to old problems.  My husband and I have fought and worked on our marriage since our honeymoon 19 years ago and this coaching has changed the nature of the fights and the outcome. Ellen An ideal gift for every couple whether newly married or otherwise. Sathyamoorthy My marriage was taking a turn for the worse and my husband was too embarrased and proud to go for counseling. We'd been together for 11 years at that point and married for 2. We have 2 small children and our busy lives were taking us away from each other. I thought, if only I could fix it, just change something, we'd be ok. So I came across your 'Save the marriage' ebook and purchased it. I figured, I'll do what the book says and pray that it works. Little did I know my husband, without me knowing, was reading the ebook when I wasn't around and implementing the same tools on his side. We made it through another year, and though we have our ups and downs, we still have each other.  The ebook really helped. Seeing us as 'we' and not a 'you and me' really helped my husband. And just taking the time to listen to him, with interest in what he had to say, like I did when we first got together, rekindled a lot for us. My like isn't more important than his and what I have to say isn't more important than what he does. Just this little change on my part brought us closer together by leaps and bounds.   There were a lot more things we gathered from the ebook, but they've become part of our everyday thinking that I can't really remember them. :)  Thank you for your tips and tools. They really helped. Shandra Rivera The book was excellent for providing ideas and strategies for most marriage problems. Wes Brown A refreshing perspective on communication in marriage. This method really makes a difference. Erika Royal I really enjoy the format of save the marriage. It provides a simple guide to building and establishing 'understanding' communication. It is one of my models I adhere to when counseling couples. Pastor Seon Thompson I have been able to understand the areas that were plaguing our marriage. I took for granted the simple things and used the Save The Marriage e-book to sort of open my eyes. It did lead me to a couple of counselling sessions on my own that were truly beneficial to my emotional well-being. Stephen It opened my eyes to things I didn't consciously know I was doing to hurt my marriage. Tami Saleska Although my marriage is not 'fixed' it is not hopeless either. Save the Marriage has some excellent ideas that help you 'keep off the boxing gloves' when it is so easy to fight back and then all could be lost. Bev Save the Marriage was so helpful to me. My marriage was on the verge of divorce but after reading your ebook it gave me hope and confidence that my marriage can be save. We are still working on things but it has been great the last few months and I thank you. Kerlley Aime It helped us focus on the two of us as a couple rather than as individuals. Just sitting down every night to discuss what we read enable us to spend more time helping each other find out what was important to us rather than dissecting what was wrong with our relationship individually. Staci Smith just thanks. Cami Howlett Your e-book saved my marriage and my life. I wasn't seeing my part in the situation, just his. Reading your e-book gave me the techniques to change the way I was looking at things. It also changed the way my husband was treating me. He saw the change in me, and started treating me differently. It was still hard work but worth every minute. Now we have a great marriage. I appreciate him for his differences rather than wishing all the time he was different. I tell him I love him for those differences all the time now. I have truly become his number one support person and he is mine again. Thanks so much. Tall one in Ohio Save the Marriage have taught me a lot about how to diffuse situations that are quite silly sometimes but are potentially deadly to a marriage. It has also taught me how to be more in tune with myself and my reactions. This is vital in any marriage. D.J. SVG I learned that my relationship was very unbalanced. I realized that although it's not all about me, my needs are of equal importance and should be respected by my partner. Lydia I thought my marriage was over. When I read Save The Marriage I saw that it really was not over at all. We managed to get through the hurt and are still married and healing nicely. Audrey At 17 years of marriage we seperated. we didn't really want a divorce, but we knew something wasn't right with us. it took 8 months for us to come back together and in that time after reading your book, we learned that we had let life interfere with how we talked to each other. we taked 'at' each other without really listening to what was being said. we had to allow ourselves time to come to grips with the knowledge that we weren't the perfect couple we thought we were and even though we knew 'you can't read each others minds', we had somehow let that slip and allowed hurts to billed up, all the while wondering how the other couldn't tell something was wrong. we learned to listen to each other again and make sure that the other knows he/she is as important now as the day we married. kat I read the e-book, I like the fact that they stress that in after the affair, both parties must relalize that the affair was a two fold problem, that the affair may shed light on issues that have needed attention to correct problems in the marriage and both parties are responsible for it happening, not equally but accountable. suzy soley I am truly surprised about the interest you have shown in helping to help me get my marriage on track. Thanks! Gayle Davis These ideas and techniqes have help in the way of me being a young married woman and never having good mother and father relationship to look back on to develop techniqes I needed to keep my marriage a live. In the world now days the first thing everyone says is forget about it and move on. This book helps and show you how to fight for your marriage when nothing else will.  Thank you, Leslie Hanmer I am a Domestic Violence counselor and foud the e-book helpful to use in the process of therapy as women who have been disempowered to begin to think about what they need, want and deserve in a new healthy relationship. Deborah Your program has taught me to look at marriage in a different way. I had unnattainable expectations for my poor husband and I now know that he can't be a mind reader, or the one to make me happy. That is my job to make myself happy, he just gets to share this with me. Thanks! Michelle I have been through your ebook once in it's entirety. I study and apply what you have talked about, and see some chnage already. I just have to keep with it and make sure my husband does too. Where he was totally sceptical at first, I think without realizing it, he too is applying some of the data. Thanks! Kayle I was so thrilled to find something like this on the Internet. It is filled with good, common sense. Eat your heart out Dr Phil! Kath Newman It gave me more insight on how to begin communicating with my husband again. Great! maria The e-book was really thought provoking. When I read it for the first time I really didn't know how to move on from the situation we had gotten into. It made me realise that the problems we were having could be solved. In 2 years we've gone from being on the brink of breaking up to closer than ever. Not only did it make me look at my marriage from a different perspective - it changed the way I interacted with everyone around me. My husband, my 2 children and myself are calmer,more confident and happier than ever. Life is good again!!! Kay H Provided a lot of insightful information and gave me a different outlook and new hope for our marriage. Ramona Thomas Some of the benefits i've gotten from the e-book are tools that have tought me how to make sure that I am completely comfortable with my self and what's important to me and that I'm not out of place asking for what I need. Alisa Your articles have been very insightful. It makes me step back and look at things from a perspective that I hardly ever see at all. She

 

Why You SHOULD NOT Register

This course is not for everyone. There are some people who should NOT involve themselves in this program. If this is you, please move on to other resources:

• First, if you have already decided to divorce, and this is just to make your spouse or yourself feel better, this program is not for you. You will make no progress, and you will only end up having to live a lie, one of my "no-no's." If you are thinking about divorce, but are undecided, this program IS DEFINITELY for you. If divorce is not an option, but something has to change, this program IS DEFINITELY for you. If you have an OK marriage, but it is not quite what you want it to be, this program IS DEFINITELY for you. If you have a good marriage, but want to make it great, this program IS DEFINITELY for you. If you have a great marriage, but want to keep it up, this program IS DEFINITELY for you.
   
• Second, if you are looking for a "no effort shortcut" to marital bliss, this is not for you. In fact, that doesn't exist. Minimal effort is usually what got people into trouble in the first place. Notice, I did not say "work" but "effort." I hear people saying they need to work on their relationship. Boy, is work a dull proposition. It usually means no imagination and no fun. This process will not be work, but it will take effort. If you are not ready to make an effort, this program is not for you.
   
• In addition to the note above about having already decided to divorce, if you are involved in an affair that you are unwilling to end, this program is NOT for you. You are needing to make a choice and make a change. If, however, you or your spouse has had an affair, and you are wanting to heal and reclaim your marriage, this program IS DEFINITELY for you.
   
• Finally, if you are unwilling to take responsibility for your marriage and its future, this program is not for you. Taking responsibility is different than accepting blame or fault. Blame and fault-finding are about what has happened. Responsibility is about where you are going.

What's Included In The Program

There are several key components to this program. Each multiplies the effect of the other. So, let's take a look at each one.

First, I have identified 8 rubrics of transforming a marriage. The rubrics build on themselves, and reinforce each other. In order to cover the rubrics, you will attend 8 teleclasses. Each teleclass will give you the ideas and information to apply each rubric to your marriage. The teleclasses last about an hour each, giving you 8 full hours of content to absorb at your leisure

Since these teleclasses were recorded as mp3’s, you have several options on how you will listen. You can listen on the computer, or you can download them to your mp3 player (including iPod’s), or you can burn a CD, and take them in the car with you. You have full flexibility. These are the actual recordings of the phone calls, so you won’t be listening to some “mastered in the studio” audio. You will get the powerful information.

Second, to reinforce what you learn in the teleclass, you can practice with daily homework. You can print off the email, and get started on the homework. Print it twice, and both of you have your own copy to work on. This homework has been "battle-tested," and has proven to be invaluable in helping people to transform their relationships. Now, it isn't like school, so no grades are given, and you can choose when or even if you will do it. But you can expect it to take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour per day, depending on how much you decide to invest.

Third, in order to pull those two things together, there are 5 Question & Answer sessions from questions posed by participants in the original workshop. These sessions clarify points made in the teleclass or in the homework, but where people still had questions. In other words, the participants probably already had the questions you will have, and have already asked them. The answers are in these sessions.

Finally, there is a Forum for members to use. You can ask questions of me, of each other, tell your story, and tell everyone what tricks you have learned in helping your marriage. Even couples with troubles will have lots of good information and help to share with others. The forum provides a place for that. Better than that, we are all in this together. Your struggles become our struggles. We will share in your victories! Learning happens better in a community, so the forum provides a place for community.

The Forum is also the center of the course. All elements of the course are saved there. You access all homework, all recordings, and all other information at the Forum. If you choose to post or not, that is up to you, but the Forum will provide all the information 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In fact, I have a simple message that walks you through the course. You just click my hyperlinks, and through the course you go!

Included is a bonus teleclass: a Lone-Ranger Teleclass for those working through the workshop alone. If this applies to you, this will help you apply the material alone and make a change in your marriage.

Now, here's the magic of how we are doing this: we have recorded all teleclasses into a digital format (mp3) that can be played on your computer or downloaded to your mp3 player or iPod. So, you can listen whenevedr it is convenient. If you didn't catch everything, you can just listen again later. The homework is always available to you, so if you can't keep up, it will still be there. In fact, I think there will be some people who will collect the recordings, save the homework, and do the whole course when it is convenient for them. That's great! Suddenly, even time is irrelevant! In the TiVo world, this is called “Time-Shifting.” You are not a slave to my schedule or any other schedule. You can create your own timing.

Originally, we designed the workshop to take 30 days. But now you can do it in one week, 2 weeks, a month, 6 weeks, 6 months, whatever! You have control over your pace and your intensity. If you get fired up, you can charge ahead. If things get hectic, you can slow down. It is all in your hands. I provide the tools, you choose how and when you will use them.

What You Will Learn

This course is designed not to be just a “fix.” It is designed to transform your marriage. This is not about “psychobabble,” or even being “touchy-feely.” It is about giving you the tools and techniques to transform your marriage.

So, we won’t be going on an “archaeology dig” of past hurts and pains. I think that gets too many couples bogged down and unable to move forward. In fact, that is my primary concern with marital therapy. You may go to an appointment in a good mood, but after an hour of thinking about all the hurts, you leave mad at each other. Then you are supposed to go work it out!

That is why the statistics on marital therapy are so dismal. Over 50% of couples who go to therapy end up divorced, and only 20% report any significant improvement. Imagine going to a doctor who tells you he wants to perform a procedure on you. The mortality rate is over 50%, and only 20% of people experience any improvement in the problem. Would you take those odds?

There are some advantages to building, versus digging:

• We avoid low-mood therapy, and work from high-mood perspectives.
   
•  This makes the process a far less intimidating prospect for those who are less willing to be involved in the process. No "navel-gazing," no "how do you feel about that?" approaches. Just simple actions building toward amazing results.
   
• The process is, therefore, more acceptable to men in particular. Let's face it: lots of men are dragged into therapy, and then made to feel incompetent in the emotional arena or ganged-up on. (Not good for keeping a couple in therapy.)
   
• A couple’s past becomes less important. What really matters is where the couple wants to move toward.
   
• Insights about the past don't often make the leap to changes in the present/future. But gaining knowledge, skills, and understanding does change our actions/reactions, and direction of a marriage.

So, we are not going to make the mistakes of therapy. We are about building, not digging. That is why we will be working with my 8 Rubrics of Marriage:

• Paradigms, Perceptions, and Mindsets. This is foundational. How you view each other and how you change that view are the beginnings of change. I’ll show you how. I’ll give you a new model that will help you understand your mate.
  
• Commitment. When you got married, what did you sign up for? Learn about the hidden commitments you made, and how can you use this to literally save your marriage.
   
• Meeting Needs. Marriages begin a downward spiral when we forget our own needs, and forget to meet the needs of our spouse. Claim your own needs, and learn how to discover your spouse’s needs.
   
• Being A Team. Why is it that the one person we should see as our ally begins to be seen as the enemy? More importantly, we will look at how to become a team, and how this is transformational to a marriage.
   
• Identifying And Breaking Patterns. We all get into ruts. Usually, they sneak up behind us, and before you know it, we are deeply entrenched, and don’t know how to get out. I’ll help you identify the destructive patterns and help you to change them.
   
• Communication. Notice how far along we are. This is the 6th rubric. Most put this as the first. I disagree. Communication is important, but only after the other 5 rubrics are secure. I’ll help you understand communication in a different way, and you will see why it is not the big issue, but how it can strengthen your marriage. Learn how to fight fairly, and how to understand the outlook of your spouse.
   
• Anger, Anxiety, And Strong Emotions. Your brain is part of the problem. More specifically, your brain when it gets angry or anxious is the problem. Learn how to cope with the strong emotions, so that they bring you together rather than tear you apart.
   
• Building A Resilient Marriage. We will spend some time discussing how to be a “resilient couple,” how to bounce back from difficulties in life and between the two of you. Resilient couples will succeed in marriage, and I can show you how to increase your Couples Resilience Quotient.
   

“What Do I Do Now?”

It is time to take action!  If you are ready to take action with your marriage, don’t wait. 

Don’t let inaction continue a path to somewhere you don’t want to be. Think about what you want and then make a decision to move in that direction. Intention leads to actions. And actions lead to results. Move your intention to action, and you are on your way!

I've heard from several workshop leaders who are not happy with my pricing! They were upset with my low price on the original workshop. Even one "marriage guru" contacted me, upset with the price he had heard! He charges $500 for one hour of consultation! The workshop leaders are charging anywhere from $800 to $2000 for a weekend event (3 or 4 hours of workshop!). The costs for those workshops did not even include travel expenses, food, lodging, babysitting, and all the other expenses of having to go somewhere for the workshop! No travel costs with my workshop.

The full cost for the Transform Your Marriage Workshop is US$147.00 for the teleclasses, Q&A, homework, and access to the Forum.

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